With so much criticism surrounding Christopher Columbus, his Italian family members have come out to defend him, saying it’s “too soon” to criticize his legacy.
“I mean, he’s barely been in the ground 500 years,” said Adriana Columbus, his great, great, great, great, great, great (times 30) granddaughter. “Yes, he may have made mistakes in his life, but we hope those mistakes won’t define him now. Once the dust settles, then we can talk about some of his bad judgment calls.”
“I mean, he discovered the Earth was round,” said Mario Columbus, the Italian minister for foreign policy. “Listen, we missed out on a lot of the colonization stuff. Don’t take this away from us!”
Most importantly, his family members pointed out, Columbus recognized that he made mistakes before he died.
“He wrote that he made mistakes before he died,” said his distant 18th cousin twelve times removed. “I think it shows a lot of courage to admit that you’re not a perfect person, and so we should all respect mi gioia.”
Ultimately, Mario Columbus said, his positive traits should be embraced.
“Listen, the Indians get free college,” said Columbus. “Can’t the Italians have the discovery of America?”
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